flu shot.

baby fever.  yeah, that shit's real and it's a switch that is flipped when you think you've got everything planned out exactly the way you want it.  my switch was flipped on december 18th.  i have had somewhat of the fever for a year now, but on that night, out of nowhere, the thought, "what am i waiting for? " hit me full force. it's strange and there's no turning back.  i'm ready.

now i didn't plan to be ready for another year, so this is causing some shock to husband and i. but mostly husband.  a friend had commented on a Facebook post of mine about how she is feeling the same way and may need a flu shot. i thought that was cute but i don't think there is any reverse gear on this ride.

many people just assumed that i disliked children because we have waited so long. nothing is further from the truth. i love children.  i love them so much that i put off wanting one of my own because i didn't feel that i could give it everything and more.  time, money, along with a zillion other important factors are all topics i've thought about again and again, and now...i just don't care. i still don't know the answers to some of the questions i have but what i do know is that i want to welcome a life into a house and family full of love and laughter.

many people assumed that i am too selfish and that is why we've waited.  i don't think wanting to accomplish goals and have some time to grow as a married couple is selfish at all.  in fact, i think a lot of the reasons why some people have children are more selfish than any reason why i chose to wait.  it really bothered me to have eyes rolled, or "hmmm"s, thrown my way when hearing the answer to the question, "when are you going to start a family?"  half of the people who have asked me that got pregnant by accident anyway.  the nerve.  since when did planning out the life you dreamed of become selfish?

i don't regret waiting. i don't consider myself an old maid because i've waited to have a baby in my thirties (like i said i would).  i don't anything.  the constant reminders of how old i am getting (jerks) and the repetitive asking of "when?" is not the push i needed or asked for.  a woman is ready when she is ready.  you feel it in your soul when it's right.  and i feel it.

Source: oncewed.com via Clara on Pinterest