too much has gone on the past month and while i like to be busy with fun things, i'm starting to feel the wear. although i am becoming steadily more exhausted by the day, i am almost thankful for it because it is helping me keep it together.
i'm going to have to say my good-byes to my nino henry on friday and saturday. when he passed away on monday, ( i got the call at work. fun!) i was not shocked because he had been in hospice for the past two weeks. it softened the blow to know that it was coming and that his suffering is over, but damn, i miss that guy so much already. his deterioration started about 2 years ago when he had to have his leg amputated. it's been hard to watch it happen and especially hard this past thanksgiving when i finally let myself accept that he only had a very little amount of time left. i made sure to hug, kiss, and take as much of him in as possible. i made my peace with it the first night he was in hospice. a lot of my amazing relatives were there and we shared stories of the good times we had with nino which made it easier on us all.
my cousin (my nino's granddaughter) posted a picture of him on her facebook last night and it took my breath away. yup, the shock finally set in that i will no longer get to hear his voice and i allowed myself to cry. i'm so happy that he was in my life and cared for all of us as much as he did. i'll always remember how he would say in a half-serious way "i'm gonna get my slipper on you!" when i was being bratty (which, of course, was a lot), how everytime the mailman came up to their house we'd say "nino's home!, how he would sit and watch his western movies in his comfy recliner, and the last coherent conversation he had with justin and i saying that he wished we would have kids so that he could be their nino too.
well, nino, if i do have kids one day, my little boy will be named henry after you. (i'll just have to fight jackie for this, but i should get my way in the end.) i love you and you're in my heart always.
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